“Why does it bother you so much that Spike bit Buffy?”

Xander stared at his girlfriend, who was lying on top of him after their nightly coupling. “What?”

“I asked why Spike biting Buffy bothered you,” she clarified.

“No, I heard the words,” he replied. “I’m just… what?”

“Well,” she began, rolling onto the bed beside him and propping her head up. “Spike’s a vampire, and Buffy wanted him to bite her, so why did it bother you so much? I know no one wanted him to kill her, but you had this look on your face. The same one you make when you try not to have an orgasm before me.”

“Ahn!”

“What? It’s not like your friends were around to hear me say it.”

“Yes, but still. Some things are best left unsaid.”

“You still haven’t answered my question.”

Xander sighed and sat up, placing his back against the pillow. How could he explain something so simple to someone so… Anya? The reason he didn’t want it was obvious.

“Remember last year, when we all lost our voices and I thought Spike had bitten you? Remember how upset I was then?”

She nodded.

“That’s pretty much the same thing.”

Anya’s eyes narrowed. “So you’re in love with Buffy?”

“No!” he replied. “Well, I love her, but… Ahn, you know you’re the only girl for me.”

Anya beamed at him. She only appeared jealous so she could hear him say things like that. And because she was jealous.

“I guess it’s worse after what happened with Angel. I…” he paused, wondering if he should tell his girlfriend this. Especially after making love… “You know that I used to like Buffy,” he told her, setting up his story. “Heavy emphasis on the ‘used to’. I mean, I still like her, but not like—”

“Honey, thank you; I’m reassured. Continue before I get bored.”

“Right. Well, I liked Buffy, and then Angel came along, so that kind of ruined my chances with her. I always resented him for that. I guess when he bit her it was like he was taking something from her that I could never have. And I know now that I can’t have that, but... and then seeing Spike bite her, it just made everything worse.”

Anya stared at him, utterly perplexed. “You want to bite Buffy?”

“What? No! That’s…” He sighed. “Something I couldn’t have from her. I know you don’t want to hear this, but it’s kind of a sex thing.”

Anya was surprised with how well she was taking this information. Maybe it was because Xander was in her bed and not Buffy’s. “I have always heard that being bitten by a vampire is a very sexual experience. Unless they tear at your throat and you die, then you’re just experiencing pain and a gory death, which isn’t very sexual at all.”

Needless to say, Xander didn’t like hearing this. “Yeah. So can you see the big wiggins now? Spike getting all sexual with Buffy… not a big fan of that idea.”

Anya shrugged. “I dunno. I’m sure they’d have great sex together.”

“Ahn!”

 

* * * *

Willow laughed at one of Tara’s jokes as they walked into the UC Sunnydale library, but as soon as they’d stepped into the room her laughter died away as if someone had put a stopper in her.

“Wow,” Tara whispered. “I’ve never seen you get quiet so fast. It’s like you’ve got an off switch or something.”

Willow grinned at her. “I’ll show you my on switch later.”

Tara grinned. Willow was being unusually flirty today. Maybe it was because nothing demony had happened since that ordeal with the Leech a few weeks back, and her nightmares about killing Buffy had stopped. Willow hadn’t shared a bed with her because of them, even though Tara didn’t mind that she woke her up with her tossing and turning. Their lack of contact with each other was probably what brought on the flirtatiousness.

Willow was whispering something into her ear that she couldn’t understand, but she didn’t miss much, since Willow went suddenly silent once again and stopped walking.

“Buffy?”

Tara blinked in surprise as Buffy looked up from the table she was sitting at, a number of large books open in front of her.

“Oh,” she said in surprise, closing one of the books and covering the title. “I didn’t think I’d see you guys in here.”

“Well, Tara’s got to study for her class, and I decided to tag along.”

Buffy smiled. “And we all know how much you like libraries.”

“And we all know how much you don’t,” Willow pointed out. “What’s up?”

“Oh,” Buffy replied, trying to appear casual and failing miserably. “Just doing some research.”

“On what?”

“Um, technology,” she replied sheepishly when she saw Tara glance at the title of one of the books she was trying to hide away. “You know, computer stuff. My computer at home is on the fritz and I thought I’d find a way to fix it.”

“Buffy,” cooed Willow disappointedly. “You could’ve just come to me; I’d probably be able to fix it.”

Tara looked at the redhead, surprised that her suspicion had disappeared so easily. Tara knew that something else was going on, but Willow seemed oblivious to it.

“Oh, well,” Buffy replied, waving a hand in the air as she continued pulling books into her bag. “I can’t rely on you forever, can I? I mean, it’s not like you bother me for anything, so it’s not fair for me to come after you with my computer problems.”

“It’s not a bother.”

“Well,” Buffy said, having put all her books in the large bag she was carrying with her. “I think I might try checking these out and studying at home. I’ve got to clean my room, anyway.”

“Oh yeah,” said Willow a little more brightly. “Isn’t Riley coming back next week?”

Buffy froze, her eyes glazing over momentarily. She’d totally forgotten. “Um, yeah. He is.”

“Wow, he’s been gone almost all summer,” Willow noticed. She grinned. “I’m sure you guys will have lots of catching up to do.”

“Yeah. We will. Bye, guys.”

Tara watched Buffy with concern as she made her way to the main desk to check out her books. She glanced at Willow to see if she had caught on to anything suspicious, and was relieved to see a perplexed look on her girlfriend’s face.

“What was that about? It’s like she was trying to avoid us.”

“And Riley,” Tara pointed out. “And any mention of what it was she was researching.”

“She said it was something about computers,” Willow replied somewhat defensively.

Tara brushed the subject off with a sigh. “Maybe. I need to start studying. You still want to stay?”

Willow smiled. “Of course.”

 

* * * *

Spike couldn’t get away from her. God, Dru had been right, he was all covered in the Slayer. In his dreams he held her, both violently and intimately. Sometimes they fought, sometimes he drank her, and sometimes they did things that would’ve had him waking up in a sweat if he actually could.

Sweat, that is. He knew he was perfectly capable of doing those other things.

The Slayer wasn’t just in his dreams, though. Buffy thought she was being stealthy, but he knew she came to the cemetery to watch him. He knew her scent pretty well by now. She had kept her eye on his crypt since the kissing incident, but had made sure he never saw her. Perhaps she feared that there would be another kissing incident.

Tonight would be different, though. Spike was sick of being watched. Unlike the Slayer, he didn’t need a bloody Watcher.

With his mission in mind, he put on his coat and strolled out the door, stopping a few feet from his crypt.

“Hmm,” he said loudly, as if thinking aloud. “Since my chip doesn’t seem to be working, I think I’ll have myself a little snack. I wonder if there are any kiddies out tonight…”

Just as he’d anticipated, the Slayer appeared with her stake in hand. In a flash she had him pinned to the ground, but that little setup was a bonus.

“Slayer!” he greeted brightly. “What a nice surprise. Been waiting about long, love?”

“Don’t play games, Spike,” she said threateningly, although the stake was held above his chest rather than shoved against it.

“You’re one to talk about games, Slayer,” he replied, his voice dropping. “I’m not the one who’s been spying on a certain someone for the past few weeks. It’s good to see you, by the way. Have you gained weight?” he asked tauntingly, squeezing her waist.

The stake now pressed firmly into his chest. “Knock it off, Spike. If you hurt anyone I’ll be forced to kill you.”

“Oh, you’ll be forced?” He propped himself up on his elbows, and Buffy’s eyes flashed in warning. “I thought you wanted me dead.”

She shifted uncomfortably under his scrutiny. “I do.”

“Then what’s holding you back? You’ve got your stake, you’ve got me in a…” Spike leered at her. “…compromising position. Seems the perfect opportunity.”

He wouldn’t have dared tempt the Slayer if he hadn’t known for a fact that she didn’t want him dead. He liked to think it was because of a personal interest she had in him, but his assurance came from her watching him every night. She was waiting for something, and whatever it was had yet to happen.

“You’re harmless,” she countered weakly.

Spike sat up and gripped her upper arms tightly. He was bloody sick of hearing that.

“Oh, harmless as a little furry caterpillar, am I?” he growled. Buffy whimpered in surprise and he tightened his grip. “Why do you keep watching me? What do you think I’m gonna do?”

Buffy tried to fight back, but now he had her in a rather compromising position. She was sitting in his lap, so she couldn’t kick him off, and he had her arms in a pretty stiff lock. If it were a life or death situation, he was sure she could break away. Guess that meant she knew he wouldn’t hurt her.

“C’mon, Slayer! You think I’m gonna go have dinner on the town with you watching me every night? You’d stake me for sure. I may be tempted, but I’m not bloody stupid. If I want to live in this town, I’ve got to stay on your good side.”

“You’ll never be on my good side, Spike,” she spat at him. A rush of color flooded to her face as she looked down at their tangled bodies. “Get off of me.”

Spike grinned. “You’re the one on top, Slayer.”

“Spike, stop it.”

“C’mon, Buffy, you know you can fight me off. Why even bother to ask?”

Buffy went still instead of tossing him back in response, her gaze still hard as she looked at him.

“Why haven’t you told your friends?” he asked curiously when she didn’t reply. “I thought you’d have them all cracking the books to find out why my chip’s not working.”

Buffy looked down at his hands, and it was only then that Spike realized they were moving slowly up and down her arms.

“Maybe the… the signal isn’t coming in as strong. O-Or, um, it might’ve broken, and the signal’s not coming in at all.”

She froze when his thumb ghosted over the small scratch that was barely visible on her lip. God, what was he doing? Getting all dainty with the Slayer? Now that his chip wasn’t working he should be ripping her limbs off or something equally as violent. But no, he had to fancy himself in love with her.

“Could be,” he replied, his eyes darkening. “Could be I’ve been faking it all along.”

His hands were at her waist now. Buffy shifted uncomfortably. “Why would you do that?”

Spike lowered his lips to her neck, brushing them against her scar. “So I could get closer to you. To kill you.”

Spike felt her body tense against his. So she was afraid of him now, eh? ‘Bout bloody time.

“I could do it right now,” he whispered against her neck. “Does that scare you?”

“N-No,” she stuttered, her response utterly unconvincing. The truth was that she was scared… of Spike. Buffy was scared of Spike, even though she still held a stake in her hand. Yet at the same time she was highly aroused, which also scared her. Her fear and her arousal seemed to be coexisting peacefully with each other.

“I don’t believe you,” he replied, kissing below her ear. “I think you’re scared, Slayer.”

Buffy whimpered, trembling in his arms. What was wrong with her? What wasn’t she supposed to be punching him in the face? Why was she letting him do this?

“Slayer?”

Buffy’s and Spike’s heads snapped up. They both turned to see a rather confused and uncomfortable vampire standing a few feet away.

“Spike? Is that you?” he cried in disbelief. “Oh, man! Hey, are you finally gonna kill her?”

Neither Buffy nor Spike moved, unsure of what move to make. Buffy was about to die of humiliation, and Spike, well, he’d been interrupted.

“Hmm,” said the vamp, stepping closer. “Guess not. May I?”

The vamp grinned and grabbed Buffy, hauling her to her feet. Spike rose to help her but stepped back as she kicked the vampire once, twice, kneed him in the groin and then stabbed him through the heart. She turned to Spike angrily.

“When are you vamps going to remember that I’m the fucking Slayer?” she growled, stomping off.

Spike’s eyebrows soared at her language, but he didn’t pursue her. He knew he’d see her in a day or two.

But that might not be soon enough.

 

* * * *

Buffy wrapped her comforter tightly around her, tucking it under her chin as she willed herself to sleep. But either her will wasn’t strong enough or her body was incapable of sleep, because no matter how many sheep she counted she still felt awake, alert… kinda horny.

Crap.

Spike wasn’t supposed to make her feel like this. Maybe it had something to do with the fact that he bit her. It couldn’t be anything else. Angel’s bite had been exhilarating, but… no, it can’t just be a vampire’s bite. The Master had bitten her, and that only made her feel, well, dead.

Fine. So she was attracted to Spike. But she had a boyfriend, who was tall and attractive and alive, so she knew that she wasn’t interested in Spike romantically. Just… well, how was a girl supposed to react when he was touching her the way he had been?

You’re supposed to kick him off of you, Buffy reminded herself.

All the self-admonishment she administered did nothing to quell her desire, though. It looked like it was going to be a long night.

It seemed to get even longer when she heard a tap at her window. For a brief moment she thought of Angel and his window visits, but she knew it wasn’t him when she turned and saw Spike on the other side of the glass. Buffy shot him a glare before turning away from him and feigning sleep.

The tapping grew louder, however, and if he kept it up her mother would come in, wondering what the racket was. Buffy leapt out of bed and rushed to the window, opening it and positioning herself in front of it so he wouldn’t think he was invited in.

“What?” she hissed.

“I need to see you,” he said seriously, his eyes falling to her chest.

Buffy rolled her eyes. “Well, apparently you can see me. Go away, Spike.”

As she moved to close the window, Spike grabbed her wrists and pushed her inside, knocking her to the floor and landing on top of her. He pinned her arms over her head and glared at her with yellow eyes.

“When are you people going to remember that I’m a fucking vampire, hmm?” he asked teasingly. “We weren’t finished earlier, slayer.”

“There’s nothing to talk about, Spike. You don’t kill people, I don’t stake you. I think I made my point clear.”

“Yeah,” he replied, his features softening. “But I don’t think I made mine.”

Buffy wanted to cry out in protest as his lips fell against hers, but she remembered her mother. She’d hate for her to run in and see this. She’d have to take care of this quietly.

Spike lowered his body so that it was firm against hers, deepening the kiss. He trailed his hands up her arms and slid his fingers into her hair. Buffy managed to pull away. With difficulty.

“You need to leave, Spike,” she told him breathlessly as he looked into her eyes. Buffy blinked. Kissing her was one thing, but looking at her like that was another. “Spike, w-what are you doing?”

“Can’t stop thinking about you,” he confessed, caressing her face. “You’re a very beautiful woman, slayer.”

Buffy felt her heart skip. “Spike…”

She let him kiss her again, this time so hard that her head was digging into the carpet. Buffy murmured her discomfort and Spike moved them to her bed.

She felt drunk, like she’d had too much wine. Everything was a blur, and somehow she missed the part when their clothes came off, skipping instead to the part with Spike moving above her. Touching her, kissing her, making her melt from the inside out.

It was over too soon for her liking, but that didn’t mean it hadn’t lasted long. Buffy tried to catch her breath as Spike fell against her, his face buried in the crook of her neck. They’d managed to keep quiet, evident by Joyce’s lack of barging in. Then again, she might’ve heard everything and would be too embarrassed to come in. But Buffy usually didn’t sleep with her boyfriend while her mother was home, so no doubt she would’ve thought it strange had she heard.

“Spike,” she whispered, her breathing speeding up once more. “Get off.”

“What?”

“Get off of me!” she hissed, panicking.

Spike rolled off of her and stared at her with mild confusion. “What’s wrong?”

“I can’t believe you’re asking me that,” she muttered as she pulled his pants up from her side of the bed and threw them at him. “Just go. Get out of here!”

“Buffy…”

“Damn it, Spike!” she replied, her voice rising. “Get out!”

Spike quickly pulled his shirt and pants on, grabbing his jacket and his shoes before stopping at the window, giving her one last look before grinning smugly and disappearing from the room.

Buffy stared blankly ahead of her, trying to process what had just happened. She’d let a man—a vampire—into her bed. A vampire who wasn’t her boyfriend. And her real boyfriend was coming home tomorrow.

“Oh my God,” she whimpered as she scrambled to her feet, the sheet wrapped tightly around her body as she made her way to the window, shutting and locking it before drawing the curtains closed.

What was she going to do?