* * * *
Chapter Three
Vigil
* * * *
Buffy didn’t sleep, fearing what
awaited her in her dreams. It didn’t matter that she was physically
exhausted, nor did it matter that she needed rest to aid the healing of
her wound. If she fell asleep, she might be faced with more pain than she
was ready to deal with.
The next day everyone piled back onto the school bus. Some of the fighters
needed some serious medical attention, and the first aid kit they found on
the bus didn’t have the needed supplies for treating stab wounds. The plan
was to get to L.A. and admit them to the hospital while Buffy and Willow
paid a visit to Angel. Willow thought that Wesley or Fred might have some
idea of what was haunting Buffy, and the Slayer wanted to see her
ex-boyfriend. She needed reassurance that there was someone she loved who
wasn’t dead and evil. She hoped she could get that from him.
Willow helped the others aid the wounded onto the bus before she joined
Buffy. She was curled up in a seat in the back but kept her eyes down, as
if intentionally looking away from the window. Willow smiled sadly at her
before sitting in the seat across the aisle. “Hey.”
Buffy pulled her hand away from her mouth, where it had been hanging as
she nervously chewed her thumbnail. “Hey,” she replied tiredly, every hour
of missed sleep painfully apparent in her voice.
“So, I was just wondering how we’re going to explain the bus full of
wounded people to the doctors in L.A.,” Willow said with a little laugh.
Buffy turned her eyes to her and gave her friend an odd look. “Sorry,”
Willow apologized, her eyes falling to her hands. “I was just trying to
talk about something that wouldn’t make you miserable.”
Buffy closed her eyes and made a pathetic, whiny sound as she reached up
to massage her eyelids. “I just hope we can find out what’s doing this so
we can make it stop.”
Willow didn’t look into Buffy’s eyes as she asked her next question. “Are
you sure it isn’t Spike?”
“No,” was Buffy’s immediate answer, accompanied by the shocked look of
resolve on her face.
“OK,” Willow replied defensively in a small voice.
“No, Will,” Buffy continued. “The things it said to me… it couldn’t have
been Spike. He would never be that cruel.”
“Unless it was Spike without his soul,” Willow pointed out.
Buffy bowed her head. The same thought occurred to her during her
sleepless night, but she knew Spike with and without the soul. “He was
never that nasty without the soul. When he wasn’t hating me, that is. How
could Spike be haunting me like this, anyway? I mean, I saw him in the
mirror and in the water. Vampires aren’t known for their sinister haunting
abilities.”
Willow leaned forward and placed a hand on Buffy’s shoulder, offering her
friend a soothing smile. “I don’t know, sweetie. Whatever’s doing this
we’ll find a way to stop it.”
Buffy smiled weakly and placed her hand on top of Willow’s. At least she
wasn’t alone.
* * * *
“Hey, G-man. How’ve you been?”
Faith gave Gunn something between a slap on the hand and a handshake as
she greeted him in the lobby of the Hyperion. She heard Buffy and Willow
discussing their visit at the hospital and decided to join them to see how
everyone was doing. Make sure Angel still had his soul, check if Wes was
OK, see if Cordelia was still a whiny bitch.
“Buffy,” Angel greeted in awe as he saw her enter the hotel behind Faith,
Willow in tow.
Buffy smiled and practically ran into his arms, thrilled to see that
another part of her life in Sunnydale was still intact. She was so glad
that he wasn’t there for the fight, otherwise she would’ve lost him, too.
Buffy wouldn’t have been able to bear losing both Angel and Spike.
Gunn stared after the blond blur curiously. “That’s Buffy?” he asked Faith
quietly.
“Yeah,” Faith replied. “You might want to watch out for her. She can be a
bit moody.”
“Huh. I can see why those two hooked up, then.”
“Buffy?” Angel croaked as her arms tightened around him. “I know I don’t
need to breathe, but I’m slightly uncomfortable right now.”
Buffy pulled back, an embarrassed smile on her face. “Sorry, it’s just…
you don’t know how glad I am to see you.”
“I think I should be saying that seeing as you just fought the battle of a
lifetime. I assume everything’s taken care of?”
She nodded and did her best to widen her smile.
“Are you okay?” Angel asked with concern, touching the side of her face.
“You look horrible.”
Buffy narrowed her eyes at him.
“I mean,” he quickly added. “You just look… a bit… tired?” He hoped that
was an acceptable word to use.
“I haven’t slept any. Willow and I actually came to see if Wes could help
us out.”
Angel’s brow furrowed comically. “You want Wes to help you sleep? Does
this involve cuddling? ‘Cause I’m getting a scary mental picture, here.”
“Buffy.”
Angel stepped back and walking up behind him were Wes and a girl Buffy
didn’t recognize. She assumed it must be Fred.
“Wes,” she greeted politely.
“You need my help with something?” he asked once he reached them,
obviously having overheard.
“Yes. It’s Spike.”
“Spike?” Angel asked, his voice dropping about two octaves.
“Hey,” Faith interrupted. Her eyes were scanning the room. “Where’s
Cordelia?”
* * * *
Buffy was alone in the office with
Wesley, who sat behind the desk and had both hands folded in front of his
face. Angel and Faith had stepped out of the room after Buffy had
explained about her haunting issues. Wesley had seemed more interested in
how the Hellmouth had been destroyed, but Faith had distracted them with
her questions about Cordelia. Another long story followed that one in
which the word “coma” popped up, and Buffy could see Faith’s left eye
twitch at its mention. After learning about why Cordelia was missing,
Faith asked about someone named Connor. Angel looked upset and pulled her
out of the room.
“Who’s Connor?” Buffy asked once they’d left.
Wesley opened his mouth to answer but stopped, a look of bewilderment
crossing his features before he shrugged. “I don’t know.”
Buffy shifted uncomfortably in her seat. It had been years since she’d
seen Wesley, and she hadn’t been too comfortable in his presence then, but
the Wesley sitting in front of her was a different story. He was quieter
and had obviously seen more working with Angel than he’d studied about
during his days at the Watcher’s Academy. Plus he had facial hair.
“So, is there anything we can do about my ghost problem?”
Wes exhaled slowly. “It could be a number of things, really. You mentioned
that Willow was with you last night when you saw Spike in the mirror?”
“Yeah, but she didn’t see anything. And when I saw him in the water Dawn
said she couldn’t see him.” Wes frowned. “Look, I’m not going crazy,
here…”
He shook his head. “The thought never crossed my mind. Can you tell me
more about the dream you had?”
Buffy sighed. This was something she wanted to put behind her, not relive
over and over again. “It was very real, except for the fact that Spike was
alive and the things he was saying didn’t make any sense.”
“What things?”
“He kept saying that I killed him and that he was dead, but he was
standing right there. He hurt me,” she added, feeling like she was sharing
too much. She knew she had to tell him everything she knew so that he
could figure out what was doing this. “I could feel it.”
“Were there any marks on you when you awoke?”
“No,” she replied. “I don’t know what this could be. I know it’s not
Spike, and for a while I thought it might be The First, but this isn’t the
way it usually plays…”
“The First?”
“Evil,” Buffy clarified.
Wesley’s eyes widened. “My god. That was quite an apocalypse you just
faced.”
He was getting sidetracked again. “What do you think is doing this?”
Wesley sat forward in his chair and placed his elbows on the edge of the
desk. “Let’s see. It takes the place of someone you knew, someone who has
died. It haunts your dreams and appears to you in mirrors and in water.
That’s a bit odd, since a vampire doesn’t cast a reflection. You haven’t
seen any strange shadows, have you?”
Buffy’s eyes widened. There were shadows that needed to be worried about?
“No?” she replied, her answer more of a question.
“It’s an old belief held amongst many that a man’s soul can be seen in his
reflection or his shadow. That’s not even relevant, seeing as Spike didn’t
have a soul.”
“Spike did have a soul.”
Wesley’s eyes widened. “Spike had a soul? When he died?”
Buffy nodded. “Angel didn’t tell you?”
Wes shook his head. “He did just return two days ago. He wasn’t exactly
forthcoming about what went down when he was in Sunnydale.”
“I don’t see how Spike’s soul has anything to do with this. It’s not his
soul I’m seeing. It’s something else. Something angry.”
“I’m afraid this might be something unprecedented, Buffy. No vampire has
ever died with his soul.”
“That’s not true. When I killed Angel, he had his soul.”
“Ah, but you didn’t really kill Angel, you just sent him to hell. Spike
turned to dust, correct?”
Buffy’s lip quivered slightly. “Correct.”
Wesley could see the tears forming in her eyes. It was only then that it
occurred to him that she had been close to the deceased vampire. “I’m
sorry,” he apologized softly. “I don’t know what happens to a vampire’s
soul when he dies. There’s no record of it for obvious reasons.”
“It’s not his soul,” she replied firmly, sniffing and wiping away the few
tears that fell from her eyes.
Angel returned with a sigh and looked to see that Buffy had been crying.
He stared at Wes in amazement. “I was gone for two minutes.”
Wes shrugged defensively and Angel took a seat beside Buffy. “Hey, are you
okay?” he asked.
“No,” she replied honestly. “I think I need some sleep.”
Angel nodded in understanding. “We can help with that. There are plenty of
rooms for you to choose from.”
Buffy laughed somewhat manically, a clear sign that she was sleep
deprived. “The perks of living in a hotel.”
He smiled at her and glanced over at Wes before standing and leading Buffy
through the door.
“Buffy,” Wes called before she exit the office. “I’ll do everything I can
to find out what’s troubling you.”
“Thank you, Wesley.”
Once she was back in the lobby Buffy was greeted by Willow. “Hey,
anything?”
Buffy shook her head. “No. I’m going to try and get some sleep, though.
Could you stop by the hospital to check on Dawn for me?”
Willow nodded. “Sure.”
“Anybody you’ve got with you is welcome to stay here,” Angel told her.
“Thank you,” Buffy said, glancing at Willow, silently asking her to tell
the others. Some of them would need a place to sleep if they weren’t
required for observation at the hospital.
* * * *
Angel opened the door to a room on
the third floor and showed her in. “This is one of my favorite rooms.”
Buffy walked over and sat on the edge of the bed. “They’re different from
each other?”
“I like this one because I’ve never really been in it before. It’s one of
the few rooms to avoid the drama that goes on around here. I uh, I grabbed
some of Cordy’s clothes,” he said, handing her a blue t-shirt and a pair
of drawstring pants. “I thought you’d want something to sleep in that
wasn’t covered in blood.”
Buffy looked down at her bloodstained jeans and blouse. “All my clothes
got eaten by the Hellmouth.”
Angel smiled as she took the folded items and pulled them close to her.
“That can happen.”
“Thanks,” she replied. “Angel?” she said quickly before he turned and
walked out the door. “Do you think you could stay? I don’t want to be
alone if he decides to show up in my dreams again.”
Something flickered in his eyes before he nodded and closed the door
behind him. A memory, perhaps. “Let me draw the blinds.”
Buffy went into the bathroom to change and came out to find Angel standing
by the side of the bed with his hands in his pockets.
“Do you want me to lie down with you, or do you—”
Buffy’s eyes widened. Could she go from sleeping in Spike’s arms one night
to Angel’s two nights later? “Um, would you mind sitting in a chair?”
Angel looked slightly disappointed, but he shook his head. “No, that’s
fine.”
Buffy lied down in the bed and pulled the sheets up to her chin while
Angel grabbed a chair by the window and brought it up beside her. He
wasn’t too close, but he was close enough so that she could see his face.
She rolled onto her side to look at him.
“You love her, don’t you?” she asked sadly. Not because she was upset
about Angel’s falling for someone else, although that wasn’t a great
feeling. She was sad because Cordelia seemed to follow Angel around even
though she wasn’t there; his own sort of haunting.
“Yeah,” he replied in a soft voice, the look in his eyes distant.
Buffy hummed as she settled into the pillow. “I’m sorry.”
He met her eyes only to find that they were closed. “Me too.”
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